the saturday

Saturday, March 20, 2010

I am having another saturday. As usual, being at home. Doing chores - the laundry, cleaning and cooking.

Putrajaya attracts crowds for holding hot air balloon festival, though it seems fails to attract me. The plan for the week has gone to the drain for some reasons. The detestation for frustration of plan is not a stranger to me. It happens so frequent. Time will help me heal. I hope that unnecessary bonds are severed. I strongly pray for that.

Siddiq told that he is going to buy ring for his fiancee to be. Im happy for him. I also cant wait to have special guests from Sungai Petani and they will be residing at my humble hut for the whole weekend. This cheerful contemplation keeps me alive. I have nothing else to cheer up myself.

Last nite was the last class of my swimming skill 1. I bid them success in their final exam since im unable to attend their exam, the reason is that i need to pick up an officer at KLIA. I hope i did well in teaching these students. I wont forget the hug i got from one of my student. He tried his best and i can see how much he improved. I just love the feeling of pouring what I know to others and seeing them benefited from it. A penultimate gift for a teacher i assume.

A new phase

Thursday, March 11, 2010

I feel like moving into a new phase. My life has been kind enough to me, so are my friends.

I have an issue with my beloved bro and sis. For God's sake, I love them. They gave me hope. They generously allow me to be part of their romance life. I had intervened so many times in their personal life, causing them to lose privacy as a loving couple.

But in the course of friendship and brotherhood, we hurt each other. I personally hurt several times but as love them, i am not taking it far. And again I got hurt. All I want is a sense of guilt, manifested in words (or text perhaps). This time they taking it hard. I think in so many occasions I apologize for mistakes i had not done. But this time I stand firm. I love them but I dont want to be hurt and left behind like nothing happened. I do feel like causing them hard time by barging into their lives causing their private romance cease to exist. I dont like the feeling when they keep repeating that im burdening myself to have them as friends. I embrace them as my own sibling but i dont think they share the same view. These things hurt me.

Though the possibility of reconciling cant be seen in near future, how i feel towards them remains. It remains like the stillness of the picture shot when we smile together after dining at Shanie Cafe of Wangsa Maju.

Allah knows how i care for them and how much i pray for them. I just dont want to "force" them to be friend with me. If im hurt and they don't feel sorry about it, then im shot twice. I hope what i feel is mutual. Someone said - it's your ego Noor. But I feel that im justified for being so. Afterall, aku kan abang.

By the way, thanks my dearest bro and sis, my dedengs, May Allah bless all of u.
Hakcipta terpelihara - Noor. Powered by Blogger.