I Miss

Tuesday, October 11, 2016


When you say "haluu"
I miss
When you call me names
I miss
When you laugh (and cutely snort)
I miss
That confession of unsound mind
I miss
That bright and beautiful smile
I (always) miss
That heart-breaking cry
I (sadly) miss
The sudden rhyme of mysterious song
I miss
The silence aftermath a talk
I miss
The wave before we leave
I miss
When you say bye and say my name
I miss
The many "byes" before we hang up
I miss

All these...
I miss
Even when you are between my eyes
I miss

Someone is missing
And I helplessly, miss you.

Hanya PadaMu

Sunday, October 2, 2016

Kepala yang mendongak tinggi direndahkan
Dibawa turun bersamanya kemuliaan
Tangan dan telapaknya
Kaki dan tapaknya
Turun menyembah sama
Yang terbuku di hati dirungkai
Berbisik meminta
Tak pernah jemu meminta
Sedang diri penuh dosa dan noda
Dan terus meminta
"Tuhan!", ujarnya
Lalu dihambur segalanya
Dikhabarkan hal yang menyiksa jiwa
"Hanya kepadaMu aku meminta."
"Aku tak punya tuhan lain"
"Hanya padaMu. Hanya padaMu"
"Hanya padaMu..."

In saecula saeculorum

Sunday, September 18, 2016

So there will be no tears
So the pain be washed away
So the troubles be vanished
So the sorrow will go
So good things to come
So His blessing and care to be
soo near and to shower you always

So, to all I say aforesaid
I do pray so.

The Steps We Took

Sunday, August 21, 2016

I remember the steps we took
We moved to the opposite direction
We moved and we didn't even glance
We moved and we thought we were fine

Denial, that we lost a lot
Denial, that our hearts screamed
Denial, that we were teribbly ill
Denial, a friend, each of us missed.

The steps we took, seemed unblessed
We long to meet, though we didn't make it obvious
We had sipped the taste of agony and fear
Never shall we take that steps again. Ever.

Lets keep what we have, forever.

That smile

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

That smile
That makes night so bright
That makes two sun in broad daylight
That would melt many hearts

Sheer joy who gaze upon it
The sick and poor will feel great
Embicile thee who try to hate
And those left it disdained

That smile, keep smiling
Do share that most beautiful thing
Never keep it away neither dare try to hide
God, I pray...please keep for me that smile

My Prayer for You

Sunday, August 7, 2016

Sincere and truthful
Story of pain and hurtful
Unexpected and suprising
It sounds hard and excrutiating

To the All-Hearing I pray
To the Most Kind, the Great Bestower I crave
Ease all the hardship and give strength
Shed some light, make things shining again

The All-Hearing is listening
The Most Kind is kind
My prayer will be answered
For now, just take care and things will be fine

With all these, I pray
t c h

Gazing At The Moon

Monday, July 25, 2016

I gaze at the beautiful moon
It is indeed beautiful
Yet, I am reminded on how you look
Then I am doubtful
It seems you must be more beautiful
For I see you in everything beautiful

The faces of Madinah and Makkah

Sunday, June 26, 2016

Alhamdulillah, with His grace I was invited to be guest of the Most Gracious and the visitor of the Holy Prophet SAW during the holy month of Ramadhan. It was a wonderful experience. Since we were not concerned with foods, we spent most of our time at the masjid. I intend to share something about the people I met, the faces of Madinah and Makkah.
The boy name is Muhammad. I saw him after iftar in Masjid Nabawi. He tried to mimic the funny face I did. I called him and i took picture with him.

The guy beside me is an Indian National. He is working in Madinah. We met before iftar and he expressed his concern about Dato' Seri Anwar. He said he is a political prisoner. Well, bismillah and we ate.

These two young men are part of our group. They are from Ampang. Ayai and Syafiq, both enteprenuer.
Sharil Wahab came with Syafiq. They are partners in business. We shared our stories. Interesting guy with bright future ahead.

These two are mutawwif. On the left is Ustaz Zulkifli. On his right is Ustaz Khairil, who used to be mutawwif on my last visit to the holy lands.
This guy is a Malaysian. I cant recall his name. He asked for my bag just to check whether I am from Malaysia or not. He happened to be neighbour of librarian at my office.
This syeikh is from Maghribi. I did not get his name. But he told me he did come to Malaysia to give lesson and teaching. Before we departed, I asked from him doa. He told me insyaAllah we will be rised and grouped beside the well of the Prophet. He told me that's better than having doa for something from this world.
This is Syeikh Abdullah. We had our iftar together. He handed to me a jumbo size dates for iftar.
After maghrib prayer, he called me to join him for another round of meal. We had laban (sour milk), zabadi (yogurt) and bread. He told me the brand "Al-maraai" is the best dairy product in the world. He said Malaysia is good, Muslim country and he told me Malaysians are involved in the expansion project of Masjidil Haram. He asked me to send him pics if I get married one day.
This uncle is from Algeria.

This two are Aziz and Azreen. They came together. Both are working at Port Dickson. We are in the same group. Azreen spoilt the pic by not pretending to pray.

This guy is Youness. He is from Fes, Maghribi. We had a long conversation between maghrib and isya. He is a goldsmith. He expressed his concern about persecution of Rohingya of Burma. He can speak a little French and English. We converse in arabic. We exchanged numbers and he kept repeating that I should let him know if I happen to be in Maghribi.

This syeikh is also from Maghribi. I did not get his name. He is spending the whole month of ramadhan in Makkah and he was doing it every year. He worked for 39 years and 10 months and retired as bank manager. He spoke of integrity. He told me stories when he threw monies which was given to him, seems to be favour for what he has done. I shared with him my story. I told him, if we happened to work somewhere else and people dont bother to pay,whereas people would pay where we are now, they are not actually treating us. They are paying for the post we are in. He agreed. Before we depart, I asked from him a specific doa. He looked straight at my eyes, hug me, kiss my cheek and prayed for me while crying. Allah.

These three kids came with their grand dad. They were playing around all the time.

This guy happened to be at the same spot, everyday. We had not talked to each other, not until I perfomed my tawaf wida' (farewell circumbulation) and we stared at each other. I told him I saw him at the same spot everyday and I am going home tonight. He rised and hugged me. His name is Abdus Salam and he is going to spend the whole ramadhan in Makkah. Suprisingly, the arabic speaking Abdus Salam is from French. We exchanged numbers and he gave me his athar perfume.

This little guy wears police uniform. He works at Malak Ajyad Hotel. Passionate guy. We talked to each other everyday. Yet I failed to get his name.

The two guy at the back, on the right is Fawaz. Just completed his Diploma and waiting to be enrolled for degree program. He is from Sabak Bernam. I told him my ex gf was from Sabak Bernam and he vowed to find her. Good luck Fawaz. 

On his left is Shaharizal. A successful enteprenuer. A small guy with a big heart. He was the one who brought me to kiss Hajarul Aswad and the pray at Multazam. A man of vast experience in life.

At the eleventh hour, I was informed that this guy is Member of Parliament of Langkawi and Chairman of Keretapi Tanah Melayu Berhad (KTMB). Indeed he is a humble guy.
This is Zhafril. At the airport, I asked him whether he graduated from IIUM. He said yes. He came to Makkah and Madinah with his parents. 

This is Maulana Abdallah, judge of the Court of Appeal of Sudan. I sent him my pic in Masjid Nabawi and he sent me his pic in ihram. We met in front of the door of Masjidil Haram before he departed to Madinah. He told me that he has been appointed as Judge of civil court in Abu Dhabi and he told me he is going to be paid handsomely.

This is my idol. My lecturer Dr Said. A day before leaving for umrah, I went to IIUM to perform tarawih with the hope that I might see him. I met him and suprisingly, he was asking me about umrah. I told him im going tomorrow and he laughed. He told me he is also going to Jeddah on the next day for conference. We made arrangement and alhamdulillah, we met at the holy land of Makkah.

And...the dearest of all.

Lan Hasan. My schoolmate, now working in Jeddah. We confided each other during the troubling days. He keep telling me something good will happen out of those troubles. He always reminds me the path of successful people arent always easy. He married his wife and he consulted me the name of his daughter. I suggested Aufa and he took it, thus Aufa Afrina.
He came to perform umrah with his best friend, Edi. We then adjourned to Camel Rice Restaurant. The meal is awesome.

To all these, I say Alhamdulillah. My journey has been a wonderful one. The crowd was huge. It's like mini mahsyar. Even an hour before Jumuah prayer, people no longer able to walk at the mas'a (between Safa and Marwah). Nonetheless, meeting beautiful people and the people who are close to my heart, at the Holy Land of Makkah is a huge blessing. Alhamdulillah.

Take Care

Saturday, June 18, 2016

For the troubles unseen, take care
For all that worrying, take care
For the restless things and tiring, take care
For all those headaches, take care
For all that cause heartache, take care
For all that might hurt, take care
From the evil of mankind, take care
From your doubtful self, take care
While away from my sight, take care
For my inability to take care, you take care
Please take the greatest care.
At this place I pray (Makkah)
May Allah keep you safe
Under his care, always.
And before I end, please take care.

Letakkan pada jiwa ini taqwanya

Sunday, May 29, 2016


Ramadhan bakal menjelang
Aku sambut dengan azam
Mudah-mudahan beroleh ketaqwaan

Bukan pada petah berkata-kata
Bukan juga beramal hanya bila mahu
Tetapi hati yang sentiasa takutkan Tuhan

Seakan sukar dicapai, namun
Dengan doa sang kekasih aku pohon
Moga diperkenan Yang Maha Esa

Doaku, moga dikurniakan diriku kurniaan
Dengannya aku menjadi pemimpin
Kepada orang-orang yang bertaqwa
Seperti Al-furqan ayat tujuh puluh empat

Selawat dan salam buat Rasul junjungan
Segala pujian yang tertentu bagi Pencipta
Penguasa dan Pentadbir sekalian alam
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